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I was on the beach at Lunga at my favourite Scottish holiday destination. I had taken a short walk through the hobbity wood to the shingle beach. Lichens grow on the birch trees there looking like little trees themselves. Moss covered the floor of the wood, disguising rocks and fallen logs, making them look like sleeping dragons under a blanket.
My feet hit the shingle which tinkled like crystal fragments. A little hideaway only a few paces wide. The stream bubbled down through the hobbity wood and into the loch. I heard a strange peeping sound. It was unfamiliar, yet I felt I should recognise it. The sound seemed to be coming from behind the huge rock encrusted with rosettes of lichens.
Slowly and gracefully the origin of the sound came into sight. I watched the otter playing on his back in the grey green sea. Then he was gone with a gentle 'plop'.
Deathly silence again. The mist shrouding the islands opposite seemed to envelope the sounds.
I heard a sound on the beach behind me. I quickly turned round, not expecting company, to find myself facing Boudicca, Queen of the Iceni. She's a bit far north I thought as I closely examined the great warrior. Her simple shoes and robe, her heavy, dark woollen cloak. The exquisite working in the gold torque around her strong neck. Her long plaited flame hair and her right thumb shoved into her majestic mouth.
I attempted to greet her, but what does one say to a warrior queen who is bawling because shingle does not make good sandcastles?
"Hush", I said. "Look, if you're really quiet you might see an otter."
"Big deal" she replied. "There's lots of them where I come from. Anyway, they bite"
She continued to scream a temper tantrum and added a foot stamping routine just for good measure.
"Hey!" I shouted when she paused for breath, "I just want to say something."
"What?"
She went back to sucking her thumb. Perhaps it tastes nice, I thought.
I continued to speak. "When I saw you I wanted to tell you how great I thought you were, but you went and ruined it all for me."
"I don't understand" Boudicca replied between sucks.
"Well, lets face it, sulking and thumb sucking isn't normal behaviour for someone like you."
"'Tis!" She retorted.
"No it's not"
"Is so!"
"Look," I said firmly, "I'm not going to enter into this."
The queen looked quite upset by this exchange. I hoped she wasn't going to start screaming again.
"It is normal" Boudicca insisted, "and Caesar's mum makes him wear a dress, so there!"
Copyright © Jo Blair
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