"I can't do this anymore." Her words had left her before she'd even realised she was going to speak, and now that she had, she knew it was true. The tears began to well up in her eyes, but she fought them back. She had an ache in her heart that tore her apart, but she knew that it would never leave, and as strange as it might sound to her, she didn't want it to.

His words came back as a confused child. He hadn't expected this. As far as he was concerned, everything was fine. They loved each other, they had a great sex life, and they were best friends. What could be so wrong that she wanted to end it?

"What can't you do? I don't understand." She could almost hear the urgency in his voice.

"This. It hurts too much, and it's not fair on either of us."

"It wouldn't be fair on either of us to part, you know that. You must feel it!"

"I feel angry that I can't have you. I feel jealousy because she does. I feel guilty for feeling either of those. I'm running out of strength. I'm not made of stone. It hurts every day right through to my soul, and I'm beginning to lose my way."

She hung her head and let the tears roll down her cheeks. They flooded through her body, stinging every part of her along the way, only to burn her reddened face as they fell.

He moved towards her slowly, wrapping his strong, comforting arms around her trembling frame. A hand lifted and wiped away the tears so tenderly, brushing her hair back from her face, looking into her eyes, and he almost whispered, "You're stronger than you realise. I've never known anyone with as much strength and courage as you have. It's what made me fall in love with you."

Her face raised and she met his gaze. Through eyes full of tears she heard his soul plead, and hers replied with more love than this world could think possible. They were silent a while, each being devoured by their emotions, being enveloped in the other's, listening, waiting, hoping for an answer.

She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She concentrated on his touch to her back, his warm breath washing over her neck, his scent as it teased her nostrils, and she sighed deeply, pushing down the torment a while, and felt his spirit envelop her, encourage her, comfort her.

A hand raised and his fingers softly teased through her hair. As they stood wrapped in each other, he knew he never wanted to let her go. He never wanted to wake up one morning and feel the dread that came with knowing she'd not be there for him, the anguish that would build knowing she's there, hurting, because she loved him too much. He couldn't bear to think of it, so instead he closed his eyes and held her tight and close.

There they stood a while, breathing each other in as deep as they could, their hearts and souls crying, singing, reaching out all at once. If they could make this moment last forever, they would.

He pulled back a little and cupped her face in his hands. Their eyes met again and as though they were one, they spoke together, their voices barely whispers, "I love you".

They didn't need to say more. They both knew without question that they'd still be there for each other with the new dawn, because they could do nothing else.

As they pulled away his hand caressed her cheek lightly, sending chills down her spine and through to her core. They whispered goodnight, and as she walked upstairs, she looked back at the monitor that finally rested, the humming of the computer now silent, and she sighed as though the weight of the world were on her shoulders. But she was strong again, and after dreams of him, she knew she'd wake with a light heart once more, safe in the knowledge that he'd never let her go.

Copyright © K Wakeman