It was only a little harmless flirting. ‘Just keep telling yourself that, don’t get carried away by your emotions again. That feeling in the pit of your tummy, it’s nothing important. It happens every time you meet a guy you’re attracted to. But this is different because you’ve never met him.’

“Juliet?” the familiar voice shook her from her thoughts “Are you okay?”

“Yes, Yes I’m fine.” A falsified smile appeared on her face to accompany the words.

“Righto then love, I’m off to work. Don’t forget to check on the kids.” That last sentence was the only reason why he was still there – the children.

He leant over and kissed her hard on the lips, she wondered why he never noticed her wince. In fact she wondered why he never noticed anything about her at all. The only time he ever bothered to communicate with her was when he wanted his weekly fix, and she would oblige only because she knew it meant she had a few days peace from him.

She waited for a minute to make sure he had really left. Glancing over at the clock she wondered who might be online tonight. No sooner had the door closed shut that she leapt off the sofa and booted up the PC.

She spent a few minutes making herself comfortable, bottle of wine, cigarettes, and mobile phone.

Her excitement would’ve been obvious if anyone else could see her, flicking and clicking with vast speed her eyes lighting up at the thought of her special friend and then she was finally there.

‘There are two new messages in your guestbook.’

They were both from him, before even reading them she could feel the churning in her tummy begin, it made her feel warm and aroused and like a teenager all over again.

‘Hey babe, missed you last night?’ read the first message followed by a kissing pink smiley face.

‘Hey Sexy, how are you, I’m in chat if your interested.’ The second message had been left just a few minutes ago.

‘Its just innocent flirting’ she thought to herself again.

She clicked on the chat button and it seemed to take forever for the programme to start.

She beamed at the screen, when everyone greeted her into the chat room, but especially him.

‘Hey you’ he typed.

‘Hey you’ she typed back.

And her evening was awash with intelligent conversation and humour she appreciated flirty comments and innuendo’s that made her feel young and sexy again. She would giggle and blush at the monitor all night long and the warm feeling would swell up inside her. Her eyes would be strained and red, and her smile would remain constant through to the early hours of the morning, No-one else saw her like that these days. They were always the last ones to leave the chat room, and she would always be tired for work the next day.

All day every day she would think about him, the things they spoke and joked about, what he looked like, what was he doing, would she ever meet him? And all day alongside her giddiness ran her guilt. Guilt about her relationship that had failed along time ago, and about her kids who she’d be letting down if it were anything more than ‘just flirting’.

So on she plodded, and with just this ‘little harmless flirting’ you’d be surprised how much easier the rest of her life was to take. Was that really such a bad thing to feel guilty about?

Copyright © Amanda Aspinall